So lately I've been thinking about Christmas cards. I've always been pretty good about sending out my cards by the 2nd week of December. I write a little newsletter updating people about my family. Last year things were kinda sticky-I made a top-ten list for each member of my family, 'cause really did I want to let people know I was in marriage counseling? Hell no.
Well, I have NO freaking idea what to do THIS year. Hallmark doesn't exactly have a card for woman-who's-husband-is-a jerk-and-is-seperated-but-is-giving-her-husband-till-the-end-of-the-year-to-decided-if-he-is-going-to-pull-his-head-out-of-his-butt-and-take-care-of-his-family-responsibilities. Yup, I looked. NOTHING!
We definitely are not TOGETHER, but we are not officially DIVORCED. In 6 weeks anyways I'll know for sure, right?
I'm secretly hoping DH (DAMN Husband) will tell me he definitely wants out, 'cause I'm sure as hell ready to move on. I'd much rather be by myself than with someone who disrespects me and lies. It will be something I'll really have to pray about if he decides he wants to stay. I really don't want to be hurt anymore, which is what it boils down to.
I'm not saying I can't forgive and that I have done nothing wrong. I know I have faults and shortcomings, but I am willing to work on those...but what can you do when the other person is so odious as to say he won't do anything anyone tells him to do (i.e. marriage counselor,clergy, own family) and that he has NO problems? Pray for him. I do.
Maybe I will send out New Year's cards. Because by then I'm hoping I'll know for sure which way 2011 will be heading :)