February 24, 2012


This post is purely my throwing myself a pity party.  Or maybe it's frustration.  I really can't tell the difference right now.

Are any of you out there in bloggerland an "ex"?

Do you have sole custody of your kids?

I've pretty much been a "single mom" for three years now. Even though I was still married I didn't have a marriage.  Know what I mean?  My then-hubby did whatever he liked.  NO regard for anyone's schedule except the one of his making, ERGO I was left holding the bag and taking care of kiddies 24/7.

I saw his family more than he did as a matter-of-fact.

Fast forward to 2012 with me in dating-land again.

I can't win.  I just can't win.  While I was out enjoying a homemade meal by a sweet guy I've only dated two times before, my kids apparently had world war three back at the house.  I came home to a cracked bathroom door because kid #2 locked herself in to get away from kid #1 and kid #1 thought it was her duty to get her sister out from behind the door.  I can only imagine how loud the banging and kicking must have been. And now I have a door to replace.

And you know what?  I'm not really even mad at my kids.  I'm mad at my EX!  By all rights I should have been at home tonight happily married and not having to worry if my new dates friends liked me. I would have been at home to defuse the sibling situation BEFORE a giant crack got punched and kicked into my bathroom door.  These sort of things happen all too often. And you know what really stings?  He'll never know.  He'll never even care.
I deal with "daddy fallout" ALL THE FREAKING TIME!  You know what children need?  They need a mom and dad who are on the same team.  My former mate only wanted to be a free agent, waiting on the highest bidder. I couldn't compete anymore.
So, thank you (fill in the blank).  Thank you so freaking much.  I hope you're happy. Hope you find what you're looking for, and don't worry about me and the kids.  We're having a great life without you-as you can plainly see.

February 5, 2012

It Sucked, and Then I Cried

Dating.  It is such a horrible game. I would like to personally thank my ex for the roller coaster ride I've been on lately.

I met a guy online in December.  We've chatted online and over the phone and texted too.  I really felt we were connecting.  We laughed together and even teased each other.  We finally met this week and went on TWO dates. Yes, that is correct.   I was so happy to be with him.  We had a great times together-all two of them.  Today he sent me an e-mail saying that there is someone else he feels closer to.  Okay.  Fine.  Whatever.

All I really want is someone to come home to who loves and appreciates me.  This is the time of life where I should be comfortable in my relationship.  Instead I'm on a roller coaster of ups and downs.  My heart has been so full of joy and excitement and then been let down and even irritated.

I have also been chatting with another guy.  He knows that he's not the only one I've been chatting with-he wanted to meet me too.  So I had 3 dates in one week.  Yes, three.  Good thing too because at least he wants to see me again.  Up up and away...